Week 34: Nesting

Just starting my week 34.  The count down all of a sudden feels so real since last week.

The nesting instinct just came on.  Despite being heavy and very very pregnant, my energy level went up a notch from the adrenaline of needing to sort through every thing before she arrives -- clearing out unused items to give away or sell, washing and cleaning all the newborn clothing and burp clothes, swaddles that's been kept in the drawer for over a year.   Some nights when I wake up from my usual insomnia I end up sitting in the baby room sorting through clothes and working for a good hour or two. The boxes that we half started packing for NZ that lay in my living space started to annoy me (even though they have been around for a good nine months already), and I booked the same photographer to take pictures next weekend of belly shots and family shots so I also have created a deadline to make our home a bit more homey again.

I also started to crave time with mic.  Now that he's finally back from Mauritius, I am so keen to fit in the movies and dinners and all the just-the-two-of-us time we can get while I have the luxury of a helper and before K#2 arrives.   It will be a long time before we will have this again after we make our move to NZ and live a normal person life with no helpers and two kids in tow.

But it's all exciting.  With every kick, I am feeling the life inside me growing strong and I can't wait to meet her in person in less than two months.  Jack-Jack probably feels the same after I told him that his little sister might be bringing him a car when she comes out.  So now his routine words when it comes to K#2 are -- "妹妹, car, please?  來".... I told him he had to wait patiently until she comes out to meet us, right now she's just resting inside mommy's tummy still.

The doctor's visit continues to go well and reveal no drama, K#2 is temporarily in breach position so there's no need to think about C or no-C yet, the decision might be made for us if she stays like this, but of course a lot can change over the next month  -- in a way I am hoping that God will decide the outcome for me and I am not stressed about it anymore.  At the end of the day, natural or C-section, as long as she comes out healthy and well, I will be fine with either.

Week 33: Booo.....

The End is in sight -- 7 more weeks to go, technically.

I am still undecided between VBAC and going natural.  Part of the reason being it seems impossible to hire the birth support I want given my due date is so close to the Xmas and New Year holidays, and no one I called so far can be really on call for me for the entire duration from 37 weeks onwards.  The second consideration is with the amount of medical monitoring I may need when at the hospital with a VBAC, I will likely be tied to a machine and my ability to move around freely and achieve a drugless natural birth may be compromised as well.  I don't really want to go through the pain and exhaustion just to end up with an emergency C-section in the end.   So anyway, the debate in my head in still going on.

The pregnancy is certainly progressing like the book.  The kicks are strong and keeps me awake at night more often than not, and moving around in a true whale like state is becoming increasingly difficult.  A relaxed digestive system brings out the side effect of what is called "flatulence" - a new vocabulary for me, but essentially is the embarrassing farting that happens around the clock now.   The worst part is with Jack-Jack hanging around me, whenever I fart, he will also help make the sound effect "boooo...." for me, making my every attempt to hide the embarrassing symptom rendered useless.

Home Alone

This is the first time that mic is away from me and Jack-Jack since the business trip he had when Jack-Jack was less than one month old.

The good news is Jack-Jack is getting much more used to our new helper and they play well together while mommy takes a much needed nap during the day.  As a result, I didn't really need the extra help and didn't need to push my family to make the trip from Taiwan to help me out for these two weeks.  This Sunday will be a true test when I am home alone with him, but hopefully it will be okay.  So far we managed with a light social schedule/activity and eagerly awaiting mic's return.

Now that I think about it, it really is so special that we were able to spend the last two years together (and a few more years in the future to come) as a family.  Not many children awake to both parents being around them all day for 1.5 years (since mic quit his job).  I can't say how much of Jack-Jack's behavior now comes from his personality or our nurturing, but I am very happy that so far he is very secure and well behaved.  Of course like all parents we deal with the odd two-year-old tantrums here and there, but it is also so rewarding to see him blossom while we continue to provide him with the security he needs.

Week 31: C or No-C?

Yesterday we went for our regular doctor's visit in Hong Kong.  I haven't seen my OB since week 9 given our travels, and there sure are lots of discuss and decide at week 31.

First, the pregnancy is progressing well.  The placenta is well behaved and located at a very good and safe place, so there's no chance of the complications we had last time.  My weight gain is good and baby is on track at about 1.7kg already.  Even though the doctor in Taiwan told me to "watch my weight", apparently at the same point in my last pregnancy I have already gained 14 kg, while this time I have only gained 7 kg.  (I really don't remember being THAT BIG last time around, but I guess last time we were so stressed about the other medical issues that weight gain was clearly not a concern.  The fact that I am free to move around vs being on bed rest for so long probably also contributed to a much slower weight gain).

And this time, I finally have a choice about delivery options.

I remember when I was pregnant with Jack-Jack, when I finally got off bed rest from the first trimester, how keen I was to try for a natural birth.  I did prenatal yoga religiously, I read up on water births, natural pain relief methods, and I was all ready to work hard and do my daily squats to prepare for the strength and endurance I need for the actual birth.  I felt it would make the whole experience of being a woman complete if I could have a good birth.  Of course that beautiful dream was shattered with the reality of placenta previa and vasa previa diagnosis.  I quickly gave it all up given medically it was not even possible for me to attempt a natural child birth.

Now that I have a choice, should I try a VBAC and go for a natural delivery that I so wanted last time? That being said, our C-section experience was also very smooth with Jack-Jack that I am not really against doing it again, despite the longer recovery period.

In Hong Kong, doctors are generally very pro C-section -- it is easier for them to schedule and they make more money that way, my doctor is no exception in making his preference clear.  That being said at least he was willing to entertain my idea and support me also if I wanted a natural birth.  I guess it will still be a natural birth with a HK twist, probably with a lot more people pushing you for drugs, potentially making you opt for a C-section earlier than necessary, and it won't be an environment that makes delivery as comfortable as can be.  We have also been interviewing private midwives and doulas for birth support in HK, which some friends has recommended highly and said has made their experience so much better.  Ideally it would be good to have your OB and doula share the same philosophy and work together, which unfortunately very few doctors in HK do support a true natural birth.  Mic's afraid of being caught in the middle of two opposing views during birth and that would make an already stressful situation worse.  The doula I interviewed tried to address this by saying that she will not be confronting the doctor's decision but rather she will be giving us advise on whether she thinks we can ask the doctor the question on if we can try X or Y a little bit longer before going into a C-section, so ultimately the choice is ours on how we want to handle that advise and push the doctor or not, and Mic is very uncomfortable to be the person having those discussions with the doctor when it comes to that.

Mic and I have been debating this.  Even a simple discussion around VBAC or not got us into a stressful discussion -- it makes you realize marriage is forever a process of discussion, debate, disagreement and compromises (hopefully).  I guess fundamentally we differ in he wanted to path of least risk and conflict and I am willing to push it a little if we really wanted a good, warm, intimate birthing experience with K#2.  What I value in the experience is something probably a guy just simply cannot grasp (just like they never really understand why women needs to be surrounded in a romantic setting!?), and that brings out conflict in how we are looking at this.

At the end of the day, I want us to both be on the same page, and want the same thing, and some support mentally to achieve that.  Why is it that hard?