Week 34: Nesting

Just starting my week 34.  The count down all of a sudden feels so real since last week.

The nesting instinct just came on.  Despite being heavy and very very pregnant, my energy level went up a notch from the adrenaline of needing to sort through every thing before she arrives -- clearing out unused items to give away or sell, washing and cleaning all the newborn clothing and burp clothes, swaddles that's been kept in the drawer for over a year.   Some nights when I wake up from my usual insomnia I end up sitting in the baby room sorting through clothes and working for a good hour or two. The boxes that we half started packing for NZ that lay in my living space started to annoy me (even though they have been around for a good nine months already), and I booked the same photographer to take pictures next weekend of belly shots and family shots so I also have created a deadline to make our home a bit more homey again.

I also started to crave time with mic.  Now that he's finally back from Mauritius, I am so keen to fit in the movies and dinners and all the just-the-two-of-us time we can get while I have the luxury of a helper and before K#2 arrives.   It will be a long time before we will have this again after we make our move to NZ and live a normal person life with no helpers and two kids in tow.

But it's all exciting.  With every kick, I am feeling the life inside me growing strong and I can't wait to meet her in person in less than two months.  Jack-Jack probably feels the same after I told him that his little sister might be bringing him a car when she comes out.  So now his routine words when it comes to K#2 are -- "妹妹, car, please?  來".... I told him he had to wait patiently until she comes out to meet us, right now she's just resting inside mommy's tummy still.

The doctor's visit continues to go well and reveal no drama, K#2 is temporarily in breach position so there's no need to think about C or no-C yet, the decision might be made for us if she stays like this, but of course a lot can change over the next month  -- in a way I am hoping that God will decide the outcome for me and I am not stressed about it anymore.  At the end of the day, natural or C-section, as long as she comes out healthy and well, I will be fine with either.

Week 33: Booo.....

The End is in sight -- 7 more weeks to go, technically.

I am still undecided between VBAC and going natural.  Part of the reason being it seems impossible to hire the birth support I want given my due date is so close to the Xmas and New Year holidays, and no one I called so far can be really on call for me for the entire duration from 37 weeks onwards.  The second consideration is with the amount of medical monitoring I may need when at the hospital with a VBAC, I will likely be tied to a machine and my ability to move around freely and achieve a drugless natural birth may be compromised as well.  I don't really want to go through the pain and exhaustion just to end up with an emergency C-section in the end.   So anyway, the debate in my head in still going on.

The pregnancy is certainly progressing like the book.  The kicks are strong and keeps me awake at night more often than not, and moving around in a true whale like state is becoming increasingly difficult.  A relaxed digestive system brings out the side effect of what is called "flatulence" - a new vocabulary for me, but essentially is the embarrassing farting that happens around the clock now.   The worst part is with Jack-Jack hanging around me, whenever I fart, he will also help make the sound effect "boooo...." for me, making my every attempt to hide the embarrassing symptom rendered useless.

Home Alone

This is the first time that mic is away from me and Jack-Jack since the business trip he had when Jack-Jack was less than one month old.

The good news is Jack-Jack is getting much more used to our new helper and they play well together while mommy takes a much needed nap during the day.  As a result, I didn't really need the extra help and didn't need to push my family to make the trip from Taiwan to help me out for these two weeks.  This Sunday will be a true test when I am home alone with him, but hopefully it will be okay.  So far we managed with a light social schedule/activity and eagerly awaiting mic's return.

Now that I think about it, it really is so special that we were able to spend the last two years together (and a few more years in the future to come) as a family.  Not many children awake to both parents being around them all day for 1.5 years (since mic quit his job).  I can't say how much of Jack-Jack's behavior now comes from his personality or our nurturing, but I am very happy that so far he is very secure and well behaved.  Of course like all parents we deal with the odd two-year-old tantrums here and there, but it is also so rewarding to see him blossom while we continue to provide him with the security he needs.

Week 31: C or No-C?

Yesterday we went for our regular doctor's visit in Hong Kong.  I haven't seen my OB since week 9 given our travels, and there sure are lots of discuss and decide at week 31.

First, the pregnancy is progressing well.  The placenta is well behaved and located at a very good and safe place, so there's no chance of the complications we had last time.  My weight gain is good and baby is on track at about 1.7kg already.  Even though the doctor in Taiwan told me to "watch my weight", apparently at the same point in my last pregnancy I have already gained 14 kg, while this time I have only gained 7 kg.  (I really don't remember being THAT BIG last time around, but I guess last time we were so stressed about the other medical issues that weight gain was clearly not a concern.  The fact that I am free to move around vs being on bed rest for so long probably also contributed to a much slower weight gain).

And this time, I finally have a choice about delivery options.

I remember when I was pregnant with Jack-Jack, when I finally got off bed rest from the first trimester, how keen I was to try for a natural birth.  I did prenatal yoga religiously, I read up on water births, natural pain relief methods, and I was all ready to work hard and do my daily squats to prepare for the strength and endurance I need for the actual birth.  I felt it would make the whole experience of being a woman complete if I could have a good birth.  Of course that beautiful dream was shattered with the reality of placenta previa and vasa previa diagnosis.  I quickly gave it all up given medically it was not even possible for me to attempt a natural child birth.

Now that I have a choice, should I try a VBAC and go for a natural delivery that I so wanted last time? That being said, our C-section experience was also very smooth with Jack-Jack that I am not really against doing it again, despite the longer recovery period.

In Hong Kong, doctors are generally very pro C-section -- it is easier for them to schedule and they make more money that way, my doctor is no exception in making his preference clear.  That being said at least he was willing to entertain my idea and support me also if I wanted a natural birth.  I guess it will still be a natural birth with a HK twist, probably with a lot more people pushing you for drugs, potentially making you opt for a C-section earlier than necessary, and it won't be an environment that makes delivery as comfortable as can be.  We have also been interviewing private midwives and doulas for birth support in HK, which some friends has recommended highly and said has made their experience so much better.  Ideally it would be good to have your OB and doula share the same philosophy and work together, which unfortunately very few doctors in HK do support a true natural birth.  Mic's afraid of being caught in the middle of two opposing views during birth and that would make an already stressful situation worse.  The doula I interviewed tried to address this by saying that she will not be confronting the doctor's decision but rather she will be giving us advise on whether she thinks we can ask the doctor the question on if we can try X or Y a little bit longer before going into a C-section, so ultimately the choice is ours on how we want to handle that advise and push the doctor or not, and Mic is very uncomfortable to be the person having those discussions with the doctor when it comes to that.

Mic and I have been debating this.  Even a simple discussion around VBAC or not got us into a stressful discussion -- it makes you realize marriage is forever a process of discussion, debate, disagreement and compromises (hopefully).  I guess fundamentally we differ in he wanted to path of least risk and conflict and I am willing to push it a little if we really wanted a good, warm, intimate birthing experience with K#2.  What I value in the experience is something probably a guy just simply cannot grasp (just like they never really understand why women needs to be surrounded in a romantic setting!?), and that brings out conflict in how we are looking at this.

At the end of the day, I want us to both be on the same page, and want the same thing, and some support mentally to achieve that.  Why is it that hard?

Week 30: Leg Cramp Symphony

I am 75% of the they way there on this pregnancy.  Overall it's been smooth sailing, but the usual discomfort that comes in the third trimester is certainly starting to make me want to unload this watermelon soon.

My biggest complaint must be the leg cramps at night.  It doesn't happen every night, luckily, but when it does, the sharp pain wakes you up from deep sleep and leaves you tossing and turning for at least an hour afterwards.

Last night was the worst so far, I had it on the right leg, front and back, then the left leg, front and back, then back to the left leg, side and back, and again ended on the left leg back side.  The whole thing must have lasted at least 15 minutes.  It was as if there's a conductor in my body trying to make music by making the different muscles tense up, in a magical order.  Better yet, it's impossible to stretch it out by myself, especially when it happens on the front and back of the leg -- just as you try to stretch out the back by using the ledge of the bed, the front cramp begins.  Now that mic sometimes takes Jack-Jack to bed and ended up sleeping next to Jack-Jack for the night, I have no one to kick awake in the middle of the night, and my quiet midnight screams can be heard by no one but myself.  So the only way, is to endure the pain, wait for it to pass, then try to scoot myself on the bed, and try to stretch it out a bit after its all over, by standing next to the bed.   The muscles still ache afterwards, and I can bearly reach my calf myself to massage it with the big belly being in the way.

Oh dear, why mother nature designed this to be part of pregnancy I have no clue, but I hope for the rest of the 10 weeks I have left, this symphony would not interrupt my sweet dreams again.

Jack-Jack is TWO!

I still remember, exactly this time two years ago, I was just getting ready to be checked out of Queen Mary Hospital, ending my long and uncomfortable bed rest, being picked up by Mic, and being transferred to the Sanatorium to have my C-section at 10AM.

And two years later, our lives have been transformed by this little bundle of joy.

Yesterday we had a mini celebration at home for him with his Godmother, K and her family.  I made a big pot of a beef bourguignon, roasted vegetables and a salad for dinner.  She brought a nice banana cream pie.  Jack-Jack's first real cake experience since this is first time he had a real whole slice of the pie (normally we kept him away from cakes and other sweets and only give him the occasional bite), and of course he devoured all of it in typical Jack-Jack style.  Our other friend T whom we haven't seen for over three years was in town and joined us for a brief while as well.  It was just the intimate set up I was hoping for and the dinner and celebration worked out perfectly.  Jack-Jack was able to blow out the candles this time, compared to his first birthday, even though he looked a little clueless while we were singing him the Happy Birthday song.

Looking back, I am still sometimes just overwhelmed by how much joy life is with him.  It is indeed very different -- We are now up at 630AM most mornings, going to bed around 930PM, no more late nights, rarely do we have long dinners with friends trying out new restaurants (since most people don't eat at 6pm when we eat and we need to be home to put him to be before 9pm), I have cut down on my tango and other activities and our days evolve a lot around him.  That being said, it is truly a blessing that we have the time and the space in our minds to be with him in this way, which allowed us to thoroughly enjoy him and observe all of his little changes over time.  Just this past week, his vocabulary has expanded massively, instead of his standard "car" "bus" "digger" "baba" "mama" "狗狗", now he can also tell us he got bitten by a mosquito by saying "疱" and wants some "藥藥", he can request for a pair of his Thomas the tank engine chopsticks at dinner, he can tell us he's hungry by pointing to his mouth and say "吃", and he even translated for me when I couldn't understand he was saying "cat" by also telling me it is "貓".  His play has became a lot more imaginary and interesting -- his obsession with cars and buses continue, and he always needs to put them in the exact same line very neatly.  6 little vehicles is all he needs to be entertained for hours, moving them around and parking them in different ways.   His opinions and personalities are starting to come out more vividly -- he really expresses a preference on who should play with him, help him wash his hands, take him to bed etc., but over all he is a child with great empathy and can listen to reason most of the time if we have the patience to outlast his complaints.

Today we plan to take him to Disneyland in Hong Kong for his actual birthday, another new experience for him since he had pretty much zero exposure to Disney's grand marketing machine thus far (so he wouldn't recognize Mickey, Goofy and other characters).  I booked an overnight hotel so we could watch the fireworks and not have to rush back home exhausted afterwards.

The parenting experience has taught me so much, and I am looking forward to all the joy and challenges ahead with this little life came out of my tummy, this time exactly, two years ago.

Week 28: The last name challenge

The last few weeks went by so quickly.  Our trip to Taiwan ended up being rather bittersweet.   The birthday celebration for my dad went really well, and the day before our scheduled return, my grandmother passed away.  It was a very sad moment as she was the closest person to me in my life, but it was also a blessing that I was there with her holding her hand as she peacefully passed just three weeks shy of her 100th birthday.  Jack-Jack has acted really sweet around her all the time, and it never seizes to amaze me how affectionate he was towards her despite how she looked in the end plus the fact that she couldn't even interact with him nor play with him.  I was able to plan the funeral for her and it was also really great the whole family was together for the first time in over 35 years.  I really enjoyed being with all of them and I hope Jack-Jack also felt the warmth and the strength of love in the family.

Now back to K#2, she's really just a little trooper doing so well despite not getting much attention.  We arranged for a medical check in Taipei since our stay was extended unexpectedly, and it was great to finally get a good rendering of her cute little face on the 4D ultrasound.  She even did a little yawn for us.  I can't wait to meet her and hold her in my arms.

And the other decision that we have come to is she will bear the last name Liu.   I never thought my dad cared about this but when I got pregnant he asked if I could ask if Mic would be open to having this child bear our last name, otherwise the Liu names will not be passed down from me.  My dad has never asked me for anything in my life so I figured this must be quite important to him.  Honestly I didn't really think any of this mattered --- our genes are passed on, and who knows what will become of the future generations, especially with our move to NZ and the fact that our kids will grow up with fewer and fewer Chinese influence.  Surprisingly Mic was really understanding of this and agreed that the heritage a last name bears is very important.  So upon some deliberation, the decision is made.   Well, at least then there will be two people in this four person family with the same last name. (Now we have Wan-Min-Kee, Liu, and we shortened Jack-Jack's name to Wan only, so technically we all have different last names, and I am carrying around marriage and birth certificates around when we travel to prove that we are a family!)