Risk Management

So while I still have my placenta precvia, we have learned from the doctor I also have a "marginal insertion of the cord".   What that means is the cord is attached to the edge of the placenta, which also is very close to the cervix and has a higher risk of rupture which can be very dangerous for the baby because that means when I bleed, the baby may be bleeding, too.  Of course the poor little thing doesn't have much blood to drain so one of the older doctors we saw seem to highlight that to be more of a risk (and a more rare case of high risk pregnancy) than the placenta situation and requires an experienced doctor who will be very quick with the c-section.

The good news is now that we are so used to this kind of news and more medical terms thrown at us, as long as it falls in the category of "there's nothing we can do about it", we have really sort of learned to let it go, and file it under the risk management part of our brain.  The bottom line is, any type of bleeding with me will be an emergency and we just need to be quick in getting to the hospital and leave the rest up to God and the medical team that will be looking after me and little K.

The high risk pregnancy does make me appreciate every passing day with a little more awareness about the blessings we have each day.  Sometimes, the blessing can be as small as "we have made it through another day with no sign of bleeding", and when that involves the risk of life and death, even that can be huge.

I have also came to terms with the fact that everyone's pregnancy is just different.  Unfortunately I don't have the luck to be like one of my colleagues who was still hopping around in her high heels around 38 weeks in the office and leave on a Friday from work for a delivery on Saturday and the whole process just seems like a breeze.

But I am also convinced that every thing in life happens for a good reason.  There are good lessons and takeaways for me to learn --- I had to slow down, I had to let go, I had to trust, I had to pray, and I had to thoroughly embrace the fact that I have been blessed to bear a life in my womb we have been looking forward to for so long despite all the physical discomforts of pregnancy.

The next milestone is week 34, which is the point when my doctor seem to think I can deliver at my originally booked private hospital as then the intervention related to pre-mature babies are a lot less and we don't need the public hospital ICU anymore, and of course the best is if we can make it to 37 or 38 weeks for my scheduled c-section safe and sound.  As with all risk management strategies, we always hope everything is just for back-up, and that black swan scenario would never ever happen.

ps.  we finally saw the first rendering of little K's 3D face yesterday, and he has a handsome little face! :)