5AM

5AM is the new found "me" time.

After months of back and forth and doubting myself, I have finally in my mind surrendered to my style of motherhood --- yes, I breastfeed, and yes, I co-sleep, and no, I do not have a "schedule" for my child.

The sacrifice is there -- it makes it very hard to leave him behind to have a nice block of "me" time to do some of the things I used to do, it also means my bed time is his bed time and that's often something like 8 or 830pm at night, and less quality time with mic.  But like what my doctor said to me -- "to hell with it" for other people's opinion.  I am raising a happy child, who hopefully will grow up secure and learning that I am always there for him, and while my sleep may be broken up, Jack-Jack does kind of sleep through if I nurse him back to sleep when he's getting more awake, so we rarely had nights when he is crying for hours on end and needing people to comfort him by walking/rocking etc.  If I have the luxury to do this for him, and I am willing, why not?

But of course going to sleep at 8pm often means I am getting up quite early.  5AM usually Jack-Jack goes through another round of feeding and falls back asleep, and I quietly climb back into my own bed for a snuggle with mic, or like today, I realized I haven't recorded much on the blog for a while and finally have some time to do this.

We adapt to this new life/new schedule, and try to find the balance whenever we can.