The Name Challenge

Although we have the first name picked out (and for the record, it does not start with a K, little K means the "Kid", as referenced in an earlier post), the last name remains a challenge.

I find mic's name quite endearing and potentially career enhancing if you are a double spy -- I used to never be able to find mic when he's checked into a hotel on business trips, having to try about every single combination there could possible be with the hotel operator to locate his room (Mic Wan, Jean-Michel Wan-Min-Kee, Mic Wan-Min-Kee, Jean Wan, Jean-Michel Wan, Jean Wan-Min-Kee, Mic Kee, Wan Kee etc etc, the list goes on!)

But the poor man himself has endured a life time of hassle with his name, and wanted to see if there's a way that we can shorten the Mauritian trait of his last name to the real Chinese character Wan (溫) only.  Even though that means our family will bear three different last names, which can probably be confusing in itself, but at least little K may have an easier time in the future.  

However, after some research it seems that unless Mic decides to change his last name himself, little K won't be able to have a different name from the father, and that's obviously a big undertaking with all the legal records, bank statements, investment accounts etc.  So it looks like Wan-Min-Kee stays, or else maybe we should opt for Liu to save everyone the trouble?

Week 34: Someone Out There

As I approach the end of the my 34th week, and another follow up from the doctor's visit, I had to believe that someone up there is really looking out for us.

At the scan yesterday, little K turned his head downwards (no wonder I have been going to the loo every two hours!).   The doctor said as he's not in breach position anymore, the risk of his little legs kicking the membrane close to the cervix and breaking the water is less therefore reducing the risk of vasa previa implications, plus the cervix is firmly closed, so we can afford to delay checking into the hospital by a few days and enjoy the weekend at home.  Of course the doctor still thinks its risky for me to stay at home beyond 35 weeks so I think this will be last delay before I go lie down in a hospital for a few weeks.

The other thing is as the doctor was trying to scan for the fetal vessels on the membrane yesterday, it is a lot more difficult to confirm where the vessels are since the head is now obstructing the view, which the other two doctors were able to see a week ago clearly on the scan.  What that means is had we not been to the doctor two weeks ago for a regular check up, we could have missed seeing this condition completely.  The fact that there's actually a "window" where this condition could have been diagnosed, and I have been diagnosed during the window, is such a blessing.  

Everything seems to fall into place and happen for a reason, even though at the time every single condition seem to be such a scare for us -- the placenta previa led us to having a back up plan at Queen Mary Hospital, the Queen Mary doctor was extra careful and wanted to see me at fixed intervals in addition to my main doctor's visit, little K has been in breach position for the longest time allowing her to diagnose the vasa previa condition.... all of this, even though still is more drama than we had hoped, feels like more than a random set of events.  I whispered to myself how thankful I am for all the prayers that's been coming our way, it works!

We are certainly in the final count down stage with the arrival of little K at most 3 weeks away.  The baby room is ready, and all we need is little K!

Good and Evil

I had to whisper the mantra "you are not worthy of my time and anger" as I was getting out of the taxi tonight.

The taxi driver was so rude first he refused to come up the ramp of our driving lot that gets us directly to the lobby, and after pleading with my 8 month pregnant belly that it is a little difficult for me to walk up the stairs after coming from the hospital where he waited in line and have picked us up (while I thought that should have been so obvious to him), he reluctantly drove up complaining the entire time.  Then he left the meter running while I was getting money out to pay him, and after I paid him the exact amount, the meter jumped and he demanded the extra HK$2.  Out of principle and his attitude I refused to pay him the extra HK$2 that he did not deserve and slammed the door shut.

I am sure he was cursing something pretty bad, but then thankfully my Cantonese is not that good so I actually didn't understand a word he was shouting out and just tuned everything out and went up the lift to go home.

Hong Kong can be so annoying with these ridiculously rude people sometimes.

There is evil, but then there is also good.

The numerous times someone gave up a seat for me on the bus, in the taxi line, and on the MTR.  One bus driver even picked me up a little before the station and dropped me off not at the station but closer to where I needed to get off just to save me some walking.  Luckily, people that can empathize and have a heart, still exist, in a city where patience is generally non existent and not rewarded.

I should also not forget that I have been a receiver of so many acts of kindness, from people I don't know, from people I know, and from people I barely know.

A good friend from business school introduced me via email to a friend of hers who had the same condition as me (vasa previa) and successfully delivered her baby in Washington DC earlier this year despite much more severe complication symptoms with bleeding and hospitalization from 22 weeks onwards until the baby was born.  I joked that my friend ought to be buying the lottery ticket  -- what are the odds of her knowing two people with this condition in one year!  One of the HK doctors we saw only had two cases in his entire career.  I felt so warmed by her friend's kindness to offer her time to speak to me in length in such detail about her experience, things to look out for, and words of encouragement.

I know we don't have much control in the world we live in, but I will endeavor to do my part, to teach little K to be one of those people that will bring warmth to someone else's heart one day, and make the world a place with one more soul of good than evil.

Little K's Future Food Supply

I almost forgot to record one of the more positive aspects of pregnancy -- my larger than life boobs. Something I could only dream of having in the past, now is sitting firmly above my bulging bump.  The airplane runway finally turned into Bay Watch.

However, with the size of the belly growing bigger, in comparison the boobs are starting to look less and less impressive.   Also, I realized how uncomfortable having big boobs actually is.  It's heavy, makes you hunch over like Quasimodo, and any of the bras that actually provide enough support looks anything but sexy, with shoulder straps wider than a highway and makes me feel like an old grannie wearing some 15th century clothing.   The other slightly embarrassing fact is combined with the radiator body temperature, I constantly have a sweat patch under my boobs, since the boobs actually touch the tummy when you are not sitting up straight.  Mic said I could win the alternative wet t-shirt contest now (if they determine the winner by the strangest natural wet t-shirt spots).

I find that I am looking at my own pregnant body more "function" driven than the radiating beauty that those black and white belly portraits in magazines portray (and I don't think I have time to arrange any artistic shots that if I am going to the hospital next week, plus mic continues to think they are very silly), so I guess these larger than life boobs will have to be content with the role of only being little K's future food supply.

Sept 24 -- Last Day of Work

Yesterday turned out to be my last day at work.

I wasn't exactly expecting that but the doctor's visit my main OB confirmed the plan that I should be getting steroid shots end of this week (week 33) to mature the baby's lungs, and admitted to the hospital end of next week (week 34) to be observed for when the best timing is for C-section, but aiming at some point 35/36 weeks for now.  It looks like we may have avoided a Scorpio baby after all, but then again I stopped caring for the star signs, the auspicious Chinese calendar dates -- I just want him out alive and healthy.

The good news is my doctor had dealt with 3 cases of vasa previa before, and 2 of them made it to 37 weeks full term, so he still thinks if we monitor closely there's a chance that little K will be born healthy just like the others he delivered before.  The last case apparently was diagnosed at birth and also turned out okay so my doctor was proudly telling us he has not lost a baby because of this condition.   In any case he doesn't think I should be at work and I had to agree with him -- with all this going on in my head and the emotional stress, I am surprised that I could even function at work some times.

The next time I am back in the office would be sometime in 2013 if all goes well after my 4 month maternity leave.

I didn't really say my goodbyes since the circumstances so sudden and condition so personal, I didn't share it with the "just colleagues" people but just my bosses and a few friends at work, and still had to nod and smile to people in the lift who congratulated me and asking me how things are going or when I was due.

This is it.  No more blackberries, no more heels and suits (well, I haven't been able to fit in either for a long time), no more banker cynicism, no more charts and presentation.  I am ready to be a mother, so bring it on.

Week 33: Fat Fingers

For the first time in 11 years, I will no longer be wearing my engagement ring.

Yesterday after dinner, I almost cut off the entire blood supply of my finger attempting to take off my ring.  In the end soapy water helped to solve the problem and left me with a finger in tact, but I didn't want to have to repeat the same episode every night, so the ring is going to the safe now, and back out when my finger returns to its normal size.

Other than my finger, apparently my arms are also getting bigger (so my dear husband tells me).  I really am not gaining that much weight in the third trimester so far, so I am blaming it all on the water retention that's making me look puffy and fat.  

While I am on the topic of mic pointing out all of my body parts that are getting bigger, he said to me the other day trying to help me get off my bed that I resembled a "beached whale", but then added the sentence that if I am a whale then he is like those Green Peace guys that help the whale.  I don't know to cry or to laugh.  Now I have learned to play along with the joke and calls the Green Peace troop HK rep to get me off the bed, off the sofa, massage the sore back and leg cramps, and even cut the toe nails I can no longer reach.  

It's not that bad being a whale, I am kinda liking my dedicated Green Peace dude.

Surprise Baby Shower

Mic and our friend Laura planned an amazing surprise baby shower last night.

I had no idea why mic was pushing me to take a shower in the evening since I have been in bed all day with my PJ's trying to get over this nasty flu that refuses to go away.  Until Laura showed up at the door with the cake boxes I realized my stubbornness to not take a shower was probably not a great idea and I wasn't going to be spending the evening alone curled up at the couch with my hot honey lemon drink.

They put together the event in two days apparently -- another thing that got expedited with my vasa previa condition since I might be in the hospital soon.   The evening was a small gathering of friends, with beautifully laid out canapes and good conversation.   I felt blessed with such amazingly beautiful friendships in life and touched so deeply in my heart -- all those that cried with me, laughed with me, went all the way to Hokkaido temple to buy me a 安產御守 (good luck charm for a safe birth), those that emailed, texted me from overseas to tell me that I am in their daily prayers and thoughts, those that encouraged me, wiped away my tears, and kept me strong.

The celebration, however, was bittersweet.

After just coming back from anther doctor yesterday afternoon, being told that the case was so rare I was the second one the doctor has ever encountered, and the risk so great if there is any fetal bleeding from the vasa previa most likely there will be nothing the doctor can do to save little K's life.  So all the bed rest and hospitalization recommendations were merely other doctors' way to show you they have tried to do something, but in reality the line between life and death is just a few minutes, unless I am already on an operating table, even the 15 mins to get me to the operating table while I am already in the hospital is not enough.  I sort of know that already from these two days of reading on the web, speaking to doctors but it still weighs a thousand pounds when someone with a medical degree says it out loud.

I am so afraid, afraid that I am getting my hopes up too high that I will see little K's face, hear his first cry in my arms, that every little sock, tiny hat, cute outfit, every gift, every memory of us trying to celebrate the arrival of him will be just too painful to bear if we don't make it that far.

My tears roll down with that thought of doubt, fearing I am not strong enough to even believe he will join our family, but the pain of fear was unbearable, and I couldn't stop that thought of doubt.

Mic said we should celebrate, no matter what happens, we should celebrate that have made it this far.  And yes, my dear little K, we should celebrate the miracle of life, watching you grow from that 4-cell embryo into a strong baby that makes those strong little kicks and brings a smile to our face, to the cute little face with that handsome little nose.  We should celebrate all the ups and downs you bring to our life, and the moments that you remind us how we are so blessed.

And yesterday, little K, you reminded mommy that I am so blessed with wonderful friendships, one of the greatest reasons that makes life worth living on earth.