Food...I miss loving you....

For a food lover like me, these few weeks has been quite torturous. My total love affair with food in the past has turned into quite a complicated relationship.

I know I don't have it as bad as some of my friends, so I really shouldn't complain, but this daily battle three times a day of "What Should I Eat?" is driving me rather insane.

First there is the queasiness when you are hungry. You know your stomach is growling but there seems to be nothing that tickles your fancy. While I used to love thinking about a varied menu and have all these ideas of what I wanted to make and eat, now that is the question I dread the most. My poor helper used to take guidance from me on what to buy and make every day, now I just stare back with total blankness in my eyes and trying to concentrate on not puking before the meal.

The actual eating part is the only part that seems to go well so far (thankfully). As soon as I put the first bite in my mouth then it is all okay. Although it takes a long time for me to work up the courage to look at the meal on the table, and to take my first bite, at least I am still able to eat.

Then there comes the queasiness after you eat. Without fail, 30 minutes after the meal I feel like I wanted it out of my stomach. The smell, the taste, and everything that was yummy about it moments before seems like a distant dream. And I try to either take my mind off it by playing "draw something" or going to sleep so it can all go away like a bad dream.

I miss the days when I just loved my food, had endless ideas about food, the flavors, the combinations, the scent that used to get me so excited every day. Food, I miss loving you.